INTRODUCTION

My mother always had her hands full raising my six brothers and me while dealing with our abusive, alcoholic father. Because I was her only daughter, she was very protective of me, and she was determined that I wouldn't follow her lead spending precious years of my life trapped in a bad relationship. She tried to make sure I knew that I had options in life.

     Sometimes, just knowing can make all the difference in the world. Too many people make bad decisions because they don't know what their options are--or even that they have options. I thank God that my mother loved me enough to teach me how to conduct myself as a lady and care about being respectable. She taught me to use my common sense, to think for myself, and to not rely on the judgment of others to dictate what's best for me.

     You can't automatically know what to expect from life. Somebody has to teach you that much of what happens to you is in direct response to what you dish out. In other words, your actions, the way you carry yourself, the way you treat people, and the opportunities that you take or pass up largely dictate who you are and how people respond to you. That's what my mother taught me.

     Personal experiences can also teach you, to beware of certain situations and to take advantage of others. At the same time, you'd do well to learn from other people's experiences--their tragedies and triumphs. Knowing that someone else has been in your situation and rose above it can offer you hope and give you a brighter outlook on life. The popular phrase "knowledge is power" sums it up perfectly.

     Growing up with six brothers also had its advantages. My four older brothers schooled me on the games that guys play and the tactics they use to manipulate females. Who better to teach me about the opposite sex than one of their own? Or in my case, four of their own. My brothers were determined that I wouldn't be a naive female and fall prey to shady characters. And they gave me a little help by chasing away the occasional loser.

     Nevertheless, I still had a few bad relationships. When I think back on some of the characters I encountered in my dating days, I get the heebie-jeebies. My eyes roll back, my face crumples up, and I get a charley horse in the back of my neck. My whole body flutters. I have to shake it off and think of a happy place. My ex-boyfriends were never abusive. Although, I'm sure the thought of having to deal with my six brothers would've been the ultimate deterrent, if the thought ever did cross their minds.

     My mother's guidance and my brothers' inside secrets taught me to weed out guys who had less than honorable intentions. They taught me to recognize my Mr. Right when he came along, and to fit his image of Mrs. Right, as well. My husband and I have been married for more than fifteen years. We've certainly steered through our fair share of relationship issues, and I'm sure we haven't hit the last bump in the road, but we've worked through each obstacle with mutual respect, and we're still going strong.

     My vision for "Colla'd Greens Fuh-ya Soul" is to give back what my mother and brothers gave to me: the wisdom that makes me feel proud of the person I've become and blessed to be in a well-rounded relationship. I hope you'll avoid some pitfalls, and benefit from my personal experiences and observations of life and love as I dish them up in "Colla'd Greens Fuh-ya Soul." ?

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